-25 year old grown up woman without settled job. God really not being cooperated with all my prayers lately, well I dont know, maybe I deserved it or maybe I'll get another 'answer' someday. But I was this close (picture me showing you the tiniest measure of my fingers), very close but again I failed it (If u r my bestfriends, u know!). Sometimes I really want to shout this out "Atleast please God give me one thing... I dont know, one thing to make me feel that Im worth it, that I really loved by You." but then again that won't work, cos God is The Boss, well atleast for me. Well this feeling really chopped me up and torn me apart (hyperbola, I know) til I heard something on TV "sometimes God tests us to raise our dignity before Him (this is my own language style, I dont know what is the correct English or the proper one for Quran's Words)".
*Sigh*
I try my best to be patient, (again...) and hoping that someday everything will be just fine.
The most irritating thing is there are a lot of people talking S**t about my life, Why I havent got a job and creepy stuff like that. Ewww, they dont even know me exactly, I mean they dont even know what time I wake up (Oh yes u'll be surprised if u do!!!), what my middle name is, what am I good at and even what I've done to draw-all-of-the-chance to get hired. Believe me, I do everything I could and legal, of course. Crap! I applied for administration, teacher, assistant teacher, writer or copywriter (I want this one so bad!), all of the-non-experience and from-all-major job vacancies...but once again just not my luck. So now Im just gonna wait, cos I've been doing my best so let THE BOSS do the rest.
-The 'L word' havent touched me yet. Well this is serious since im already 25 going to 26 and the clock is ticking and i havent even start anything at all. Zero, Na-da, Perfectly None! It's like u're on your college age for now, but unfortunately you've only reached junior high school, so much to catch up... And since im a poet (unpublished one), Drama movies lover, Romance comedy series believer, and addicted to love songs well that means like I'm a romantic person, and that makes it more miserable!
*Sigh*
All people said about look. Once again about look. what's good, what's bad. What's hot, what's not. What's happening, what's embarrassing, etc... Do they even know that people like us do try!!! People with no experience in love life always try to be atleast keen and neat, smiling always, well maintained and also groomed pretty good. But once again it happens to be my story... Well you're not expecting me to say about my weight right? (please be dreaming!) Cos from I know of, people with flabbiness also can be happy with their couple.
It's really complicated actually when people start talking behind your back and try to bring you down because of what your lackness, because of your monthly salary, because of your lonesome, because of what they think is right should be your parameter too. Well u know what they can really kiss dog's ass bcos I wont buy their trash talks anymore. Only the worse is my parents feeling, have they ever think about it before they throw a knive at you??? Dont think so. Well this all go to my relatives for their sick minds and their huge flabby lies!!! Such a lousy full of critiques hypocrites! Please be silent or Buried in Peace!
<3 (God forgives me for being honest) <3
No comments:
Post a Comment