Wrong Trail

Wrong Trail

(29/08/2007)

I saw you running

Following, me from behind

Stepping on a cracked trail

Can’t you hear me begging?

I know you, you’re chasing fail

You keep on running

Never heard me shouting

A failure you will be

You should’ve followed me

Now you keep on running and crying at once

Day and Night

Day and Night

When the day breaks
Get outside, you'll see my smile in the sun
And when the night falls,
No matter what I'll stay around

When the sun goes down and the black crawls out
Don't be scared
Because I'll be your sight to guide your path in the dark

TRACE

TRACE

As your heart forever untold
Your love forever on-hold

As your passion forever unspoken
Your desire forever unmoaned

As the emptiness is yours
Your life is the cost
Your existance leaves no trace
Indeed what you will face

Burden's Lighter

Burden's Lighter

When the smile of your face fades away
Remind yourself of your sadness
Then you'll smile again

When your eyes see with emptiness
Remind yourself of all your happiness
Then you'll see with joy

When you remember your pain to empathize better
And remember your joy to smile brighter
You just won your burden's lighter

Today

Today

Yesterday I woke up in pale
My soul partly disappeared
My breakfast was pain
The coffee was drain

Today I feel sadly in vain
Empty it is only I can hear
I wrap my other parts in shield
Cover my secrets with filth

Tomorrow I would still smell your lies
Crush my day to curse your vanish
Hoping that someday
You will be gone in blemish

What a miracle

What a Miracle

What a miracle
The sun shines so bright
The ocean brings the lives
The wind breezes our hearts

What a miracle
I can see sun in your eyes
I feel the ocean in your smile
and I breathe the breeze by your side

Heaven

I'm in heaven
No more word that spoken
Not the other person
Yours to me, mine to you

Young Love

Boy. Boy. Boy.
You're so unpredictable
You even kissed me on my table
Maybe you had found me usable

Boy. Boy. Boy.
You didn't even stay with me
You didn't even love me
But you could rise curious out of me

Boy. Boy. Boy.
So much memories to be shared
but then again, darling
It was never love that flared

Drug Store

 (31-08-2007)

Friends are like Drug store. 

They provide:
The liquid to ease cough caused by handsomeness
The ointment to cover scars caused by scratching truth
The pills to ease irritation caused by lies
The band-aid to collect yourself up after shattered by love


Thanx friends for healing us up.

Roller Coaster

Roller Coaster

You're higher than my mind could take me
Faster than my thought could ever be
Scary. Scary. Scary.

I grip on what I can hold
My breath paused without being told
Suddenly, I'm no longer sad
I should get another ticket

I'm Not Leaving

-I'm Not Leaving- (Jan2011)

The cool breezes
Take me to the valley
Where the streams
Lead us straight to heavenly alley

The delightful sounds,
whispering magics
This happiest happiness
Filling my feeling

Sorrow and loneliness
They had my good bye kiss
Definitely,
I'm not leaving

Everytime I Swear

-1998-

Without anytime
I will get you
Just arrange your words
And say you love me too

Could you give me some love
For just a moment
'Cos there's none reason
To make me different

There's no day without you
There's no word that I can say too
Just please forgive me, oh baby, I do
I really miss you cos my love so true

Jake

-Jake*-

On the other street
I found a sheet
Full of the beat
Only meant to heat
Someone who believes

Jake may lost his sheet
Full of his beat
But he relieved
knew that it would heat
someone who believes


* dedicated to Jake Bruene, a talented youtube star.
Click his name to know more about him. ( *__*)v

Kay

KAY

One day
In the same way
I met Kay
Who had a key to went through her day
This Kay girl never get sad
In this life full of threat
Everyone want this girl
To be their pearl
Never get burn
Live on fire

Parental Tip :D

Parenting tips!

I saw my neighbor several weeks ago. She was angry to her daughter badly just because she asked her Mom to take her to Books Rental near my neighborhood. For all I knew, she did it because she was just too lazy to take her daughter. I think I'll be this kinda Mum someday, and I wish someone will remind me how big READING is.

Another thing that I need to tell you is Life is all about learning, with doing so you'll never got bored, never misled, and never be screwed. That's why I'm concern so much in Indonesia Education. I'd like to make children understand that reading is needed, reading is a must. They can even start it from the simplest thing like comics.

source: http://www.balita-anda.com/images/stories/artikel/20101103/www.balita-anda.com-gadis_kr_api.gif

Since reading is addictive they will crave for more reading objects. Believe me parents, comics is not always bad. I even started to read comics when I was 4. Well, I wasnt read them, more to watching the pictures and they were Hans Christian Andersen's. Somehow when I grew older, I can remember what the book was about, because I can still remember clearly that I told the stories to my younger siblings.

And I jumped into novel when I was 10 years old, and believe the novel was about the haunted house, the exorcism of a beautiful girl, lover’s murderer and more other similar over-dramatized books. I read it not because I like that kind of story, just because those were all that available to be read.

What so interesting about it is my Mother let me rent those books. What a cool Mom she was, She still is. Because I’m all filled with Christensen's tales I chose those books, It was for atleast 'Parental Advisory' kind of books. But that worked out just fine, as long as they're books they'll give you infos right?

source: http://www.thebathtub.net/photos/uncategorized/2007/08/09/goosebumps.jpg

Thankfully, after those books, the Book Rental provided 'Goosebumps' books by R.L. Stine. Then continued with 'FEARSTREET' also by Stine, teenage magz, and I've also read comics a lil bit. (The level was very awkward for 10 y.o., I know) I read this book with monster on its cover.

What I'm trying to say is, do not ever restrict your children to read or watch TV n dvds, since they have a lot of good effects on them in the future. But, parental guide will always be needed of course!!! :)

So What's New About It?

Gone with the Flow

 I'm so tired for planning my life. I used to strict to a plan and never look back cos everything was smoothly applicable. But it stopped after the last semester in college, my life has changed since. All of my plans were ruined one by one and facing their own fall. Well if you ask me how did it feel? It sucks as you can imagine! That will describe everything. 

Anyway, stop with the black-diary-kinda-thing, now I'll just live my life the way it is, without too many plans. Go with the flow. Keep on playing the script of my life. All I can think right now is how to set my poems in a bundle and sent it to the publishers, and hopefully they'll publish it or whatever. I just want the world to know what am I good at. Or am I not? Whateverrr.

And after all, I still think writing is my skill. I tell stories by writing it, plus giving it a lil this and that, to make it more dramatic. Oh yeah, dramatic is my middle name actually. I've been surrounded by drama queens in my entire life, so being dramatic wouldn’t be too much. Writing is where I can express myself without anyone to tell me what to do. Writing is my sense to imagine the world that I've never been. I've never been in love but through writing, I can empath how lovers feel better. I've never been cheated before, but through writing, it's like I've been cheated hundred times. Psychotic, I know! That the best journey you can get from writing. 

Do you think that I'll give up on life? no fogging way! I'll survive somehow. Well, anyhow. 

Child, please find a new job soon!

Hai fellas (for you who care enough to read this)...

Being unemployed really distract my diet. By I say diet, it means my appetite. Eventhough it was in Ramadhan -where you should have lost ur weight after it's over-, my appetite was went like VERTICALLY increased (unstoppable, irresistible and unbelievable appetite). So,despite of my unlucky luck in job-searchings, I try to keep my appetite forgettable by crocheting, but...everytime I got strangled with yarn skeins in my hands, my father always looked at me and gave me the "Please get a job soon, dear daughter!!!" LOL. Well daddy, I tried. Really.

Here's d story...
So before Ramadhan came, I got sick for about 2 months (thanx to my gastric-acid problem). I wasnt able to attend few interviews, three really prospect interviews (can you imagine). There was one day when I got better and started eat normally, I try to find another job. While I was waiting for the interview call I spent my day with crocheting. Day by day, the phone call I've waited never rang that's when I decided to stop awhile and trying my  new crocheting project. Then I really got stucked with a new project in making baby shoes. My father came to me and said "Have you applied to ANY company?" As like he said it with a curious face. I answered lightly "I have, to a few companies." Then he seemed relieved. I felt really awful because I know for sure, he'd like me to apply for Ministry of Foreign Affairs (KEMLU) but he never said it straight to me. Then I thought maybe this is my chance, my way, cos I've got no job afterall. So, I said "Dad, what do you think if I try Kemlu (Kementrian Luar Negeri)?" Daddy seemed really happy of course (I knew it from his face and his hidden smile). I went to Jakarta for a bout a month later, I felt really nervous when I started to read the test quetions. Ffiiuhh!!!

Thankfully I made it through my first test. I couldnt say thanks enough to God. I went back again for the next test which unfortunately I failed it successfully. I really hate my self that time, then I think again that everything sweet wouldnt come smoothly. Im still in my emotional recovery right now ('emotionally' for being failed the test not in a romantic mean). So, I just wanna share this to you guys. Sometimes we fall very hard, but then again if you managed to stand up again, you will have enough strength to change the world (please dont puke.). What world? well that depend... ;)

The point is Rough journey always needed to score any GOAL. (that's me being wise-a*s).

-My Sister’s Keeper- By: Jodi Picoult

Book Reference: My Sister’s Keeper

By: Jodi Picoult

The book was about a girl named Anna, who was trying to have a total control of her own body. The story began from how Anna was conceived and what was her purpose to life. It turns out to be that she was born for saving her sister’s life.

Anna had to sue her parents because they always ask her help when her sister had collapsed in the hospital. And that’s not it; in her journey for having this run she had conflict with her own heart, her relationship with her family also in jeopardy.

There are times when you can put smile in your face while read this book, and also tears for the touching moments. What I can say about this book is I enjoy it when I read it and I guess you would to.

The book also adapted into screening movie, but the content is totally different. If you had watched it and enjoyed it then you should read the book, which is more details, more touching, and more twisted than you ever imagine.

Reading this book could really make you grateful for your normal and healthy life unlike Kate, Anna’s sister, who has had cancer since she was two. The book teaches us how to appreciate our family and how to love them in a just way.

The Critiques are Lame, Really

Somehow, I had found myself as a total loser in life. But then I think again, well maybe it just YOU whom crossed the line of others life!!! blahhh!!!

I am who I am and you better shut it if you think you can tell so much bout me! Cos no one can and I prefer it stays that way!!! Shoo...
-25 year old grown up woman without settled job. God really not being cooperated with all  my prayers lately, well I dont know, maybe I deserved it or maybe I'll get another 'answer' someday. But I was this close (picture me showing you the tiniest measure of my fingers), very close but again I failed it (If u r my bestfriends, u know!). Sometimes I really want to shout this out "Atleast please God give me one thing... I dont know, one thing to make me feel that Im worth it, that I really loved by You." but then again that won't work, cos God is The Boss, well atleast for me. Well this feeling really chopped me up and torn me apart (hyperbola, I know) til I heard something on TV "sometimes God tests us to raise our dignity before Him (this is my own language style, I dont know what is the correct English or the proper one for Quran's Words)".
*Sigh*
I try my best to be patient, (again...) and hoping that someday everything will be just fine.
The most irritating thing is there are a lot of people talking S**t about my life, Why I havent got a job and creepy stuff like that. Ewww, they dont even know me exactly, I mean they dont even know what time I wake up (Oh yes u'll be surprised if u do!!!), what my middle name is, what am I good at and even what I've done to draw-all-of-the-chance to get hired. Believe me, I do everything I could and legal, of course. Crap! I applied for administration, teacher, assistant teacher, writer or copywriter (I want this one so bad!), all of the-non-experience and from-all-major job vacancies...but once again just not my luck. So now Im just gonna wait, cos I've been doing my best so let THE BOSS do the rest.

-The 'L word' havent touched me yet. Well this is serious since im already 25 going to 26 and the clock is ticking and i havent even start anything at all. Zero, Na-da, Perfectly None! It's like u're on your college age for now, but unfortunately you've only reached junior high school, so much to catch up... And since im a poet (unpublished one), Drama movies lover, Romance comedy series believer, and addicted to love songs well that means like I'm a romantic person, and that makes it more miserable!
*Sigh*
All people said about look. Once again about look. what's good, what's bad. What's hot, what's not. What's happening, what's embarrassing, etc... Do they even know that people like us do try!!! People with no experience in love life always try to be atleast keen and neat, smiling always, well maintained and also groomed pretty good. But once again it happens to be my story... Well you're not expecting me to say about my weight right? (please be dreaming!) Cos from I know of, people with flabbiness also can be happy with their couple.
It's really complicated actually when people start talking behind your back and try to bring you down because of what your lackness, because of your monthly salary, because of your lonesome, because of what they think is right should be your parameter too. Well u know what they can really kiss dog's ass bcos I wont buy their trash talks anymore. Only the worse is my parents feeling, have they ever think about it before they throw a knive at you??? Dont think so. Well this all go to my relatives for their sick minds and their huge flabby lies!!! Such a lousy full of critiques hypocrites! Please be silent or Buried in Peace!

<3 (God forgives me for being honest) <3

After I read "Good in Bed - By: Jennifer Weiner"

To see my first review go click  I Wasnt Finish Reading Yet!!!

Well.. to finish my first review bout this book, I gotta say that this book is quite something. Because at the end it served us with something that was really touching. By I say touching means it taught us that 'look' is not that important if it comes to anyone's life. Cannie didn't feel like she will be happy again after she found out that her baby was born premature and she's not in a good shape, she was small with wrinkles around her skin and pinkish frail skin. This had taught Cannie that all of her concern about her weight and Bruce (Her Ex-bf) is nothing compare to her baby's life. She had fallen into hole where she couldnt find anyone else to help until Dr. K come. He came to save Cannie from her crumbling live and finally replace Bruce's place in Cannie's heart.

You have to read the book to understand Cannie's character. The book is quite special itself cos of it's funny language. And please mind that it pulished in 2000, so you might have to synchronize a lil bit with the fashion and other trends (cars) back in those days. Actually I read the books online. you can download it from 4shared, but if you dont like to read from pc or notebook, well u should try for book stores. But once again since it published in 2000 u might have a lil trouble with that. :)

The insight of the book is you need to feel comfortable about yourself therefore u'll find ur own beauty. you need to lean on someone's shoulder sometimes to release all the burdens inside, someone that you can trust.